If you need a movie to be the epitome of such phrases like "mindless entertainment," "it's so bad it's good," "guilty pleasure," or other similar descriptions, then "xXx : Return Of Xander Cage" is the one for you. Full disclosure here, but I've never seen a xXx movie before, and I didn't really know what Xander Cage is returning from, nor do I have any deep knowledge about the previous installments. I'm sure there were some easter eggs or fan service that referenced the past movies, but somehow it didn't seem to matter. This movie was written in a certain way, that anybody could start from here. In fact, I don't think they'll mind.
Let me be forthright and just say that this movie is dumb, ridiculous, outrageous, unbelievable, silly, and will bombard you with so much stupidity that it's just daring you to stop watching it. With that said, I actually had some fun with this. This is like a cartoon done in live-action, but without the realism, and the general rules of physics don't apply here. This is like what would happen if you mashed up Mission Impossible with The Fast and The Furious, poured Red Bull and Mountain Dew into it, plus include the X Games, Martial Arts, and Parkour, then drop it into a lava pit of the 1980s that includes it's cheesy dialogue, and mix it all with the budget of an action flick from 2010. If you're okay with the result of that combination, then you'll be okay with this.
I found this movie quite likable because of it's action set pieces, and wow are they crazy enough that you have to be impressed with the film makers for deciding to put all that on screen. From skiing through a jungle, riding a bike on water, running towards traffic on foot, this movie is insane... but in a good way. Just watching Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Ruby Rose kick ass, Tony Jaa being in this, and Toni Collette continuously giving us an angry look, makes the price of admission worth it. Of course the movie also goes out of it's way to unashamedly remind us that Vin Diesel is the guy every man wants to be, and every girl wants to be with, which is a tired trope but works more or less here anyway.
If you're wondering how the overall story is. Don't. While the premise itself is enjoyable, it's nothing you've never seen before, and it has it's plot holes and logical flaws. The story is really just there to string together the action sequences anyway, and the scenes that are blatantly pandering to the audience. What you should take from this movie is that you actually enjoyed the ensemble cast of ridiculous characters in it, and would love to see them together again in another movie. I know I do.
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